Never Thought it Would Pertain to Me

October 15 is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Everyone around the world is encouraged to light a candle at 7 p.m., as it falls in each time zone. If everyone lights a candle and keeps it burning for one hour, there will be a continuous Wave of Light over the entire world.

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Pregnancy and Infant Loss
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by JESSICA CERIOLA

STILLBORN-The word I NEVER truly thought would ever pertain to me!

I mean sure I had a miscarriage at seven weeks pregnant but that was just a fluke-right? Then at 21 weeks pregnant, my doctor said with a tear in his eye “you’re dilated and you’re going to have this baby early.”

Not really understanding what was at risk, I didn’t shed a tear when my husband held me tightly. After all, I made it against all odds when I was young. I beat childhood cancer and look at me now, I was a healthy adult, so why give up hope on my little one?

When a good friend came to visit in the hospital I knew something just wasn’t feeling right. The doctor said that babies don’t usually make it before 24 weeks of pregnancy. So while I was delivering my beautiful baby girl I kept hope that she would be my miracle baby but GOD had more to teach me.

Still shocked at losing a child, my husband and I buried our daughter, Lexie Mae, two days after giving birth. We continued going through the motions but definitely still feeling the loss. No parent should EVER have to bury their child. I felt every emotion-anger, sadness, loneliness, and even peaceful at times.

The only thing that made me feel better was knowing that I could try again to have another baby and this time special measures would be taken.

After only five months-we were pregnant again and this time I was on bed rest. I had many visits to the hospital and made friends with the maternity nurses. At 30 weeks pregnant, I went in for a routine exam to find out that I was dilated and needed to be flown to Pittsburgh since I was so early. After everything we had gone through, we were all very worried.

So I flew down in the helicopter as my husband drove the 2 1/2 hours to get there. Scared and alone my sister came to the hospital to stay with me since she lived in Pittsburgh.

First, the doctors stopped my delivery and gave me steroids to get the baby’s lungs developed more. After 48 hours they induced me.

It was a long three days, but then my little 4 lb 9oz miracle baby was born and he didn’t even need any breathing tubes. Mason Joseph stayed in the hospital for three weeks before we could take him home but he was worth EVERY bit of tears ever shed.

Editor’s note: Your Daily Local reached out, through Addie’s Gift Foundation, to families willing to share their stories for National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Week (Oct. 9 – 15). All the stories were written by those who shared them and have been edited only for style and spelling/grammar where appropriate. More stories can be found here.