Honk If You Love Jesus

March 5, 2023

I wrote some time ago about billboards signed “God” containing clever phrasings to convey Christian messages. There are some very clever minds at work authoring beckoning messages.

I see some clever ones around here, but few that made impression enough to share in an article. There are quite a few that I’ve found elsewhere while doing my news reading, though, that are very entertaining. They are worth sharing. I don’t know the locations of all of these, and I can’t really include all of the pictures of the actual signs due to space limitation, but I can tell you that they all come from pictures of actual signs. (This article was originally written for an actual newspaper where links are impossible and pictures take a lot of space. The link I used can be found below.)

Stonebridge Church of God: “Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him”

Unidentified Baptist Church: “The fact that there is a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers”

Wesley Chapel United Methodist Church: “Be the Kind of Person Your Pet Thinks You Are”

Wantagh Memorial Congregational Church: “God Prefers Kind Atheists Over Hateful Christians”

Walnut Grove Baptist Church: “Just Love Everyone – I’ll Sort ’em Out Later. God”

Central Baptist Chuch: “Forgive Your Enemies – It Messes With Their Heads”

Knox Presbyterian Church: “God Wants Spiritual Fruits – Not Religious Nuts”

United Church In University Place: “Tweet Others As You Would Like to Be Tweeted”

Coneross Baptist Church: “No, It’s Not Hot As Hell”

Creek Baptist Church: “Having Trouble Sleeping – Try One Of Our Sermons”

Full Gospel Church: “Under Same Management for 2000 Years”

Church of Christ: “Come As You Are – You Can Change Inside”

Trinity Presbyterian Church: “God Shows No Favouritism – but Sign Guy Does. Go Canucks!”

St. Mary Queen of Families St. Dorothy Site: “We Are Not Dairy Queen But We Have Great Sundays”

First Congregational Church: “Blah Blah Blah Just Go To Church”

This one really needed the picture:

Twin Oaks Christian Church: “God Loves You Even More Than Kanye Loves Kanye”

United Methodist Church – Parking Lot Sign: “Thou Shalt Not Park Without Authorization or Thou Shalt Be Towed”

Church name not identified: “Free A/C Sundays 9:00 and 10:30 am”

St. John’s United Methodist Church: “Live Your Life Well So We Don’t Have to Lie at Your Funeral”

Holy Family Parish: “Don’t Be Afraid To Try Something New – Remember Amateurs Built the Ark Professionals Built the Titanic”

Jupiter Tequesta Church of Christ: “Acting Perfect In Church is Like Dressing Up for An X-Ray”

Canadian Memorial Center for Peace: “If You Are More Fortunate Than Others Build a Longer Table Not a Taller Fence”

Another from Knox Presbyterian Church: “If You Are Praying For Snow Please Stop”

Clay’s Mill Road Baptist Church: “Whoever Stole Our A/C Units – Keep One. It is Hot Where You Are Going”

Holy Trinity Roman Catholic Church: “Too Hot To Keep Changing Sign – Sin Bad Jesus Good Details Inside”

Still Another from Knox Presbyterian Church: “Cremation is Your Last Chance for a Smoking Hot Body”

Click here to see these and more church signs. I did not include all of them in this article and some of them were not clever or too political for my taste. Some things do not belong on a church sign or even (my opinion) in a church. Caesar’s things to Caesar. God’s things to God, right? (Mark 12:17) Most of the above could easily have been posted on the sign of any church for any denomination. It really is the thought that counts. I could enjoy the company of the people who came up with these snips even if I did not totally agree with their whole doctrine.

A person who is hyper-religious everywhere all the time may not be much fun at parties. I’m not saying that is good or bad, but I do know that Jesus’ first recorded miracle was turning water into wine. At what was essentially a party. The Bible says wine makes the heart of man glad. (Ps. 104:15). I’m not encouraging alcohol, but rather joy, particularly of the heart. Most of the sign messages above at least get people started in that direction, perhaps making the church/congregation door seem open, and a smile is always more welcoming than a dull joyless drone of scripture, admonition, condemnation, accusation, condescension, etc. If you remember Jesus’ story of the good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), the Samaritan, the only person to help the injured Israelite, was NOT even an Israelite. The Jewish Priest and the Levite (Tribe from which Jewish priests came) both ignored the afflicted person. It is not always the extremely faithful who offer the best example; Who convey/project the best message. Even the sign about atheists carries a weighty message about the people behind those doors. If you want to be a ‘fisher of men’, you’re going to need appealing ‘bait’.

I watch the surroundings in my travels. That often includes the signs in front of churches. Some stick with me. Strike me. Appeal to my sense of humor and joy and appreciation. Strike me as what I would hope Jesus would be and how he would speak and act and treat people. I have always suspected there is some central source for the clever sayings festooning many church signs but I give the people credit for using their God-given inner graces to present things that appeal to my sense of Christianity and Jesus. Outward signs of inward grace. And the ones whose message brings a smile or births a thought are more likely to inspire someone to walk through a door.

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