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Pieces of the Past — The Unknown Option

March 13, 2024

There are so many options on today’s cars. I never dreamed that there would be automatic preprogrammed self-driving cars. I never dreamed that cellphones would become computers and integrate into your car.

One optional thing on your car (if it’s newer than 1979) is the CONFUSO RAY. All cars, Trucks, vans and SUVs come with one. Free of charge

I told my wife that 9 out of 10 of my readers have not heard of it, She said, “Ten out of 10 people have never heard of it!” But it IS a powerful option. For me it was a particularly useful tool back in 1987 when my daughter, Brenda, was about to turn into a teenager!

Since 1925 the Confuso ray has been a convenient option for fathers who love their daughters so much they just have to hear her scream, “DAD!! NO!!!” I discovered sons either don’t care, or they think it’s just stupid! That’s how my son responded to it. My granddaughters must have male genes. I’ve tried it with them only to watch them shrug their shoulders and mutter something under their breath.

This is how this unknown feature, the CONFUSO RAY, on your car works. Having your teenage daughter in the passenger seat next to you is not required. However, I found it to be a lot more fun if she is. Some evening at approximately sunset watch for a human specimen, innocently walking toward you. It is NOT suggested that you use it where there are no sidewalks! When you get within 50 feet or so of the unsuspecting individual flash from low beam to high twice. BLINK-BLINK. If the Confuso Ray has functioned properly the pedestrian will lean down to look in your vehicle or up if in a truck with a confused expression. The best result also includes a half-wave. This will also lead to a daughter slumped low in her seat. If you want a stronger protest, do this with a young man she has mentioned that she likes!

You might want to practice on your wife, cousin or family friend before embarrassing your child. Be selective with strangers and never use your Confuso Ray on members of law enforcement. Your Confuso Ray is not to be confused with Pokemon or any other video game personality.

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